Moving out

September 7th. I long for this date.

Choose your fights

Fighting. Sometimes I wonder if there are ever any good reasons to fight. If you think about it there probably are none.
My dog picked up a fight this morning. Apparently he had run off to the crazy dog who is yapping at everything outside its yard. I dislike that dog. And for some odd reason my dog has been EXTREMELY mad at it too. Well, to be fair my dog is mean and evil towards almost any dog, but rarely have I seen him so wild and furious as I see him, when we encounter this particular dog. He gets that look in his eyes.

And well yeah as I thought he would like to hurt it. Badly if he got the chance. Now I do not know if he got a hold of the other dog since I was not the one walking him, but I know for sure that he has the mark of a canine tooth on his chin.

In a strange room

I woke up the middle of the night last night and my first thought was, "WHERE THE HELL AM I!? This is not where I was supposed to be". It took me several minutes to figure out I was in my own living room and in fact in the exact same place I was when I fell asleep.
Strange how your mind can deceive you like that. Maybe I have been gone for so long I think I do not belong here anymore. Maybe.

And gone I have been. To Skanderborg and Berlin. Both were so great and so not sober! For the last two weeks I have been drinking on an almost daily basis with a few dry days in between.
I met a lot of new people whom I really enjoyed the company of. Nice and sweet human beings from all over the world. Ironic I did not really get any German friends. But Japanese, Turkish, Italian, Chilean and whatnot. The ways of the world is very peculiar.


So now that I am back I feel a little empty. I still have no job (well only 3 hours twice a week, a start, but nothing really) I desperately need one. For the money and for my own sanity.
Oh and in three weeks I have to vote for the first time in my life. I have a love/hate relationship with these things. I like the idea of me having a vote and something to say, but I REALLY hate the way the election campaigns are run. All this unnecessary mud-throwing and children's acts. Gee.
But oh well. Since I have no job I have plenty of time getting it just right who I want to vote for.

Heading off!

Leaving in a jet plane (caar in fact)
Don't know when I'll be back again (but I kinda do)
dam dam

I cannot remember the text for that song. Like it a lot though.

Anyhow! I am leaving for festival #2 this year. SKANDERBORG. I am going to work in some food booth who knows how that will turn out. I think it will be fine though!
And tomorrow I shall see Pendulum for the second time in my life! I LOVE that band (it is a band, right?) love love.

Hope the rain will pass.

Hell if it hurts

Lately I have been thinking. I am not happy.

Then I decided to come up with an idea of why that could be. Weight was the first thing that popped up.

When I weighed less I felt happier. Now that I weigh more I am sad more often.

Ergo: My happiness is controlled by my weight.

This fact makes me even sadder than the weight itself I guess.

I have trouble getting up in the morning. I literally do not have anything to get up for. I do not go to school, I do not have a job, I do not have any plans for my future and everything seems pointless. I might as well just lie in my bed and hope to die. Wish I could just get myself together and end it, but that is me in a nutshell: I cannot, because I want to know how it ends!

I need something to take my mind off of things. Something that could give my life some meaning. Something that would make this seem more than just surviving like a virus without no real destination, but only the destroying and decaying factor set straight.

I have faced it: I am just a mere human, put in the world to fulfill the one task mankind seems to have: Overpopulate the world and DESTROY ALL LIVING THINGS (ourselves included).

Bonfire night August

Tonight I feel like burning stuff! And what better way to do that than accompanied by friends? No, right? SO I decided I had an extreme amount of blue and green soda that somebody had to drink. And since I do not drink soda (and the stuff was bought for friends in the first place) I decided to have people come over and drink fancy colored drinks and starting a bonfire with me! :D NICE.

I spent my Saturday evening walking and talking with an old friend. It was quite nice to speak again. Without any weird feelings (at least I did not have any, who knows if she had?)