Honestly? I'm a bitch..

Although a lot of people try to convince me otherwise this is the truth.

Impatient...

.. is exactly what I am at the moment. I feel restless and bored with my own existence to a point where I just don't see the point of it. I want this year to end and my new life to begin.
Recently I discovered the opportunity of my life, this is what I want to do for at least a year. I want to go to Japan on a working holiday visa and work on and off on organic farms! This really speaks to me - ecological thinking, eating and living combined with work and holiday, that's me!
I am looking so much forward to it that it interferes with my everyday. It seems to have so much more sense to it that what I do now (school) is nothing in comparison.

Today I had my first guitar lesson this year. It is noticeable that I have not been playing for a month, but I think it went okay given the circumstances. I always dread the lessons and do not wish to attend them, but then when I get there I enjoy it and have fun trying to learn although I suck big time. Nevertheless I feel I have made some progress.


Today I froze all day - not pleasant!

Tomorrow I am going to watch Black Swan for the second time. I am so thrilled! Ilovemycornergroup!!! They mean so much to me that I cannot describe it in words, maybe I could in cake, but then again it might not show it anyway. Lovelovelove them! They make my day almost every day!
There is only one thing I dread when with them - that I end up eating waay too much food. This is not really that much of a problem, but when we make all these food-related events almost once a week I cannot but give it a little attention - I have to behave, it would not be pretty otherwise.

I might get some vegan sweets tomorrow. I am such a hypocrite..

I had the craziest dream last night

Wow. Simply wow. It has been a long time since a movie has touched me so deeply. It moved me and interfered with my emotions. At times I felt emotionally raped by the themes and music, but at the same time it was so beautiful. Beauty and scary that is how I would describe it.
Black Swan is the movie I am referering to. I watched it last night with a friend of mine and it blew me away! I had been looking so much forward to it and expected so much of it and yet it was able to be even better than I could ever have imagined.
I actually loved it so much that I have already ordered tickets to see it again next week! Kinda silly, but I just could not help myself - I had to.

This is one of the many social things I planed in the past. Today I happened to plan even more! Planning, planning and even more planning.
Friday I baked a lot of cakes with one of my friends - it was great! We ate pizza, cake, frozen yoghurt and popcorn and danced and watched movies all night.
Then saturday I kept up the eating! Three course dinner consisting of different types of pancakes! Damn it was awesome! I really love having a food club with my group. It is so tasty and we get to explore more about food and get very good experiences - and of course eat deliciously tasting food and watch a hell lot of movies!

I have to rant now that I think of it. Today in PE suddenly everybody started commenting about my weightloss. I am glad they notice, but I feel very uncomfortable when they start asking me questions and all attention is on me. I feel like such a freak and I want to hide behind my friends who btw MUST get annoyed by it too, since yeah, all attention on me. I would gladly hand over the attention to them.
In the past some of the people I know have been talking about whether I might have an eating disorder. This made me very angry and it hurt. Luckily my group of friends in school told me about it - and that they thought it was bullshit. I'm so thankful they do not believe such crap, and that they defended me. I really do love them, they make school bearable.

Burgerlicious!

Yay! I succeded! The bun-making went great and so did the tofu patties. Both VERY delicious I have to say. It's been years since I last had a burger, but this is probably the best I ever tasted! Yum.
Now the rest of the tofu patties lie in the freezer waiting for the next time I feel like eating burger. 9 patties are far too many to have in one sitting haha.
I'm surprised, both my mom and my brother (who is VERY sceptic when it comes to anything meat-imitating) found them to taste very good. That itself is a great victory because it means this really MUST be something else :D

While eating the burger I suddenly realized I had forgotten to take a picture of the great work. Damn I felt stupid at that exact moment. But hey, I'll just do that the next time I eat one.
But I did get a picture of the baked buns - well I chose only to have one in the picture, but oh well. And here it is :D


Sharing is caring - burger buns recipe:

50 grams Yeast
3 dl. Water
1 knife's point Salt
1 tablespoon Flavourneutral oil
400 grams Flour
50 grams Wholemeal flour

Topping:

1 Egg
Sesame seeds

Stir yeast and water in a bowl. Add salt and oil. Put half of the flour in the bowl and mix it thouroughly. Add more flour a little at a time. Then knead the dough.

Make 10 buns (or how many you desire) which are flat, about 1 cm in height. Put them on a baking sheet and cover them with a cloth. Let them rise for half an hour in a warm place.

Paint the buns with whipped egg and sprinkle with sesame seeds.

Bake the buns in the middle of the ovenon 200-225 degres celcius for about 12 min. Then they're all done :D

:: Btw if anything sounds weird nevermind the mistakes, I'm not that great with translating recipes yet. Feel free to ask questions as well :)

Preparing for the big night

First of all I find it kinda silly that I'm looking so much forward to be cooking today. Most of my week I have had this funny tingling feeling when thinking about it. I just hope I wont get dissapointed that would be a shame. I have just bought the last things I needed for the buns and is currently in the train waiting for it to carry me home. There is something comforting about the ride home. It is sunny outside, which makes it so damn beautiful to watch the scenery - snow.

When I get home I'll start the cooking. Then when the things are going (hopefully) well I'll take a break and go for a run in the pretty nature. That is one of my favourite things to do when the weather is great.

Insomnia

Well here I am once again in the middle of the night. Like yesterday I just can't sleep. I hope I wont be up just as late as yesterday though, that'll just tire me out completely tomorrow.
I guess the nap I took in the afternoon was a bad idea after all. Although it did very good at the time haha. I overslept and was late at the porcelain painting class I attend oops.

I have a thing with planning at the moment. I simply can't plan enough! All these social gatherings I have planned in the near future which I'm looking forward to, but likewise dread will stress me out. Oh well, we'll see.

I still hope to get some nice pictures of my burger experiment tomorrow, it's going to be quite something I hope! It's a funny thing looking forward to making food. But I just love cooking! It's my way to relieve the stress in my everyday. If it tastes great I guess I'll upload the recipe - just for fun. I don't think anybody actually reads this stuff anyway.

Recipes

Today I bought some tofu. This is going to turn into some (I quite hope so) delicious tofu burgers! I'm really looking forward to try this recipe since it sounds so yummy! I'm going to make the burger buns from scratch too, that'll be honest exciting. I guess I'll post some pictures when I'm done :) (Although this is first going to happen on friday)

I have had this urge to make my dog some biscuits so I'm going to try out a recipe on that too. Hope he'll love it! As a matter of fact I love baking for others. Monday I made a birthday cake for my friend, and they all loved it :D Today I had the leftovers made into some round Danish style cakes and gave them away at school. (I dislike those cakes anyway)

Tomorrow is a new day and I hope to have it all planned out by the end of this day. If not I will just go on as the wind carries me - I like that too. But I know for sure that I have a lot to do, so I wont get bored. Gotta love being back to school (feel the irony)