Odd

Ever noticed how odd life can be?

I do not know why I post this. I have no idea. Maybe I am just bored?

I did not do any of my homework today. Damn.

I am now on the 7th month of missing my period. Odd.

A new start

I have been rather inactive lately. I have no real explanation of this.

The strangest dreams have been in my head when I slept. I keep dreaming about things and then wake up and believe they were all so very true and did happen. But they did not. Which is mostly a very good thing. I have dreamt that I said something that made C so mad at me she never wanted to talk to me again. The thing is she said something very hurtful in the dream and that after thinking about the dream I think it would actually end like that if it happened in real life.

Then I have dreamt a lot about school and my future. Those dreams have been quite cool. I got a job and I had to do some weird things for school which I for one did not mind at all even though they were due to a time not long from the present.

I went to Hamburg. It was nice and the vacation made me miss a lot of things and want to do something about the way that I live. I have to get myself together which I finally realized last week. I am up for it! I know I can do it! I have done it before so really what should stop me? Other than myself of course :)

But I believe in myself and I really think the person I am can do it!

The person which I am. Funny thinking since at the moment I do not recognize the person starring back at me in the mirror. I think she is hideous, but I do not tell anybody out of fear they will agree with me.

Living in nightmare-mode

I feel like I am not living at the moment. Nothing seems real anymore neither seems anything to matter. Everything is an illusion and nothing is what it seems.

Hate and love love and hate. Hate to love love to hate. Numb.

Tomorrow something weird will happen to my hair. I will dye it. And it is possible that it is going to die from it. But I do not really care. I dye it. I hope to get some kind of blonde color out of it. But with my luck it will probably turn out orange making me a carrot. Well that will be kind of funny! I look forward to dying it with my friends. During our Star Wars Night 2.0!

May the force be with you!

xoxo

Home for the weekend

My dog is home for the weekend!! I really hope he can stay by the end of it. Though I must admit it is quite painful to have him home. Yesterday he spent the entire afternoon, evening and night restless in the living room not wanting to lie down. I wish he could just relax. Today it seems he is feeling better, not howling as much etc. Please get better boy :)

A is in Hamburg with C and I. Although it is expensive she has already texted me a lot. I feel her agony. They seem to get on her nerves more and more for every minute that flies by. I just hope they have finally left and gone to the concert venue! Otherwise they are just bastards who think of none but themselves! A though goes out to you A!

I think I do not value my life as much I used to anymore. My first argument on this theory would be that I suddenly found myself on the backseat of L's car. It is weird I have not spoken a decent word with L in months, but yesterday's events were odd. My group from class had decided on running sushi which I decided to join them in although I had not been to school. L was with them for some reason. At first I was a little skeptical about it, but then I thought she should not be a reason for me to not have fun with my friends!

After the sushi she offered us all to drive us wherever we wanted to go. Strangely I accepted the offer. SHE SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN GRANTED THAT DRIVER'S LICENSE!

During the drive I kept the thought in mind that if I died it would not be that bad. We did not die (obviously) but she took a red light once and the car kept turning off.

She has had the license for little over two weeks and has already injured her car twice. Twice. TWICE!!!!?!??!!?

Go A! This goes out to you, xoxo