Shortcut

Have you ever tried to make a shortcut through an industrial neighbourhood just to find yourself suddenly imprisoned by fences and gates?
I did. Today.
I thought I was being so darn clever to cut throught the container dumpsyers and save a lot of time and walking. Think again.... I ended up facing several fences and gates neither of which seemed eager to let me pass. As I began to search for holes in the fence it occurred to me exactly how dumb this idea had been. But I got the best of it. Some exploring and then at last I found a gate with one loose bar maling a gap bog enough for me to squeze myself through. Must have looked interesting.

Funny if some of the owners of the places had found me. Me and my bag filled with fireworks. What a party indeed!

A Christmas tale

My friend was brought home three days ago. He agreed to take home with his parents. My entire family is sooo happy and clapping their hands sighing "thank God" while I'm on the verge of puking every time they tell someone he's back home....

He was tired of school.

Whenever someone brings up a topoc which I dislike I keep passive. I shut up like a clam and just sit there trying to keep their voices out of my head.

I like the way my friend got from place to place. Walking and hitching rides. None of my family members seem able to relate (except my brother and cousins) they are all schocked.
Mu dad keeps shouting up about how the boy should be allowed to do as he wishes. Be a carpenter, plumber or whatever. They try to rationalize his ways, but in the end I don't think they understand it one bit.

I keep wondering how they will react this Summer when I leave for a different continent for who lnows how long.

The first thing my grandpa said was: "You can find gold over there!"

Sure, that's why I'm going..........

Christmas

Love it!

Vx

Life is fragile

I'm still in a state of shock from the news about my former English teacher. To think she's dead and I never will be able to see her frowny smile ever again seems so unreal.
I was never extremely fond of her, but I learned later that she did what she did to help me. Even though I disliked her idea of forcing me out of "anti-socialism".

My friend's been found. He left home Monday after leaving a note saying he needed some time on his own and that no one should go looking for him. My mother has bugged me about this ever since. Could I help somehow and blah blah. But honestly?
I never intended to do a thing.
He wished to be alone and respect that..

Kitty is happy

Numbers

It's a funny thing wishing for those hb numbers to lower when in fact they are just fine where they are. I should try and remember a too low number will be a bad thing since that would mean I was anemic.
Funny how the mind works when it suddenly starts seeing a pattern.

Pins and Needles

Today I went and donated blood. The lady told me this was my 7th time so I'm slow, but steadily crawling towards the first anniversary which is 25 times!
I chose to let me right arm get pricked by the needle.
Very. Bad. Decision! 
It went as it sometimes does: I now have a growing blue and yellow mark around the place I was pricked, yay... But who cares it's a small price for the happiness of someone else.
I'm also considering being a bone marrow donor. It seems like a generous thing to do and I really can't see why I shouldn't give it a try. My friends tell me I'm crazy. That there is too much pain in the whole procedure and blah blah. But I read the brochure and they have come up with a new way to it where I just have to take some medicine 4 days prior. Even though I think I'd prefer being put under.

I've been wondering a lot about why more people don't donate. I mean it's not like it takes a whole lot of time and you feel happy with yourself afterwards. Such an altruistic deed!
I know many aren't allowed to donate since they have all these strict rules and policies. But on the other hand it's nice they are so thorough in selecting the right blood for the ones who need it.
When I mention it to my friends a few of them think it would be a good thing to donate, but they are honestly just too lazy to do anything about it. Which is sad since all they have to do is fill out a form on their website. Shame..

When I die I'm donating my entire body (nothing withhold) to science. My philosophy is that when I'm dead I don't have any use of it and therefore they could just as well have it. I pretty much don't care what happens to my corpse.

This was how I expected my arm to look like when I felt the pain of bending my elbow :)

I got my hair cut. I'm not sure I like it yet. Too short... Shoot..

Into the Wild

I like how Christopher McCandless looks in this photo. It is the last photo he took before he died, but even though he's standing with a goodbye note in his hand he seems so very happy and satisfied with where he is. 


He is definitely an inspiration. So very likable.
I recently wrote with this guy who spent 40 days in the woods this year. I wanted to learn about his experiences and what it was like living on such extreme conditions. He was great! He had so many things to share and only positive things to say about it. I really want to do something similar even though I know it's pretty dangerous if I'm not careful.
Now the next day he wrote to me telling me the talk we'd had had stirred up his mind and made him pack immediately for a new journey into the woods. I love his determination to leave the life he dislikes and all civilization behind. No rules, no formalities, no nothing.
 
Please be careful Gerry!

I am a Nikon

Every time I see the commercial for those Nikon Coolpix cameras I get this weird feeling. I love the song, I love the footage and everything is just so perfect! It's a mixed feeling of sadness and happiness. I get the urge to go out into the world and start photographing all the things the world has to show. I feel like leaving home this very instant and just head out on a reckless hunt for the good pictures.

Yesterday I had to drive way too long in several buses to get home from work. While I drove by windows I couldn't help but look at how everyone seemed so happy. Almost every lit up window showed me people having fun and enjoying themselves. I particularly liked the windows of the university where a Christmas party was in full vigor. I smiled. In fact I smiled upon most of the things I saw. So much happiness.
I envy these people and found I would do almost anything for a share of this.

The perks of being an angry woman

 In every conversation, almost every social get-together or anything to do with other people I find it extremely common that I rise my own anger and start bitching like a crazy angry woman.
Why oh why. Is it really that hard NOT to get angry with something? Gee.

I need to get out some more. I'm starting to go back into old tracks and I feel the old complications rising to the surface. Not. Good.
I have new habits even worse than the ones I used to surround my thoughts with.

Have you ever run out of your house with your dog barking at you playing at your heels waiting for you to toss something or do anything. Running around in the garden, hiding behind the bushes surrounding the garden, people looking at you and all you could ever do was laugh like a maniac? And then run in the opposite direction of the people. Still laughing and actually feeling pretty damn happy.

Then I got dizzy and fell onto my knees in the muddy grass...







Maybe I should actually consider reading the book which I shamelessly stole the idea for a blog title. "The Perks of being a Wallflower".

Leave it be

Why do people always trash abandoned sites?

The slaughter house

Since I had no work today I decided to do a thing I have been wanting to do for at least half a year. In all this time I have never seemed to find the right moment or maybe I was just too lazy to actually start finding out how to get there.

I visited an abandoned slaughter house. 

I was looking forward to it and was a little discouraged when I saw all the bolts and locks they had put on the gates, but never the less I kept going hoping to find a way in.
As I walked along the fence I looked at all the things. Weed growing everywhere the greyish snow giving the whole scenery a very gloomy and sinister look. I was about to give up on getting inside when I saw a house to the left of the factory. I decided to take a look at it. Mostly it reminded me of some 70's house with those fancy ovals in different colors. The door was locked, but the back doors were not. I didn't step inside though.

I went on back to the factory through the woods since I like the woods and wanted to walk in those too. As I reached an entrance farthest from the main entrance a guy came out from the woods. I wondered what he was doing there and why he had gone through the woods, but I really didn't care much. It turned out he just went this way to take a short cut across the rails. Who knew.

Finally at the last gates I found a whole in the fence and climbed through.

I was inside. The thing I had dreamt about doing I was in fact doing. And I wasn't alone. I had brought my dog along just for the fun and to have a little company. I like his company when exploring new places. This place he just didn't seem to like. I don't know if he could sense all the killing and death which had occupied the rooms, but he seemed very uneasy when we stepped into the first room.

It was gigantic! I kept to the rooms closest to the light since I hadn't taken my flashlight out and even in those rooms I got the creeps. The entire place was leaking and big pools of water had assembled on the floors.
But even though it was creepy I had to explore it. Many people before I had been there and taken their sweet time painting the walls with graffiti.

Next time I visit I should bring another human being and maybe go upstairs.

Camping

Exactly why is it that Danish film makers tend to ALWAYS make super depressing movies? Always these sinister themes and in almost every one of them is a serious problem or maybe even a taboo discussed.
I have just finished watching this movie "Camping" with my dad. We could both agree that neither of us would have gone on this particular trip. Way too depressing!
We have this broken family whose father just killed himself. The mother is a mess, drinking constantly while the son is fat and has anger-issues. The daughter is probably the most interesting character. She is distant and seems to dislike her family with all her heart. And then she blames herself for the father's suicide. Lovely!

I instantly lost all my holy jolly Christmas spirit.
Damn you Darkly Depressing Denmark.

Hallelujah - or not so much..

During my short stay in London I discvered a few things about myself.
1. I really love the city.
2. I really HATE the Underground
and 3. I'm not good around the song Hallelujah.

The first thing is self-explanatory, the second I can't explain, but I found myself dreading the trips going under the surface of the earth. Going through those nastily lit, creepy, way too hot tunnels filled with other people who are potential carriers of all kinds of sick stuff.

The third one I found out in the exact same place I hated in London - the Underground. We were walking sowewhere in the tunnels when I heard the music. Some guy was playing his guitar so beautifully and the sounds grew stronger and stronger by each step. In the beginning I thought "how nice!", but then I figured which song it was. For some reason it always makes me sad. It's an emotianal song, I know, but I really hate that I ALWAYS without exception get to the verge of tears when hearing it. I can't help it.

I wanted to smile at the guy or at least do something to indicate I liked his play, but I was too saddened to even look at him.


Damn you emotions...

I miss the sunshine

Paranoid

As I sit here in the my living room I have gradually grown more and more paranoid as the hours have passed by. Odd noises and something that sometimes sounded like voices have kept freaking me out and keeps me on edge and very scared indeed.
Outside it's raining and raging possibly a storm brewing up, but I'm inside and relatively safe. I try to remind myself of this even thought the strange noises and the repeated car alarm going off scares the hell out of me. For the past ten minutes it has gone off at least five times.
I try to keep calm and focus on Big Bang Theory, as long as I pretend everything is fine, everything really IS fine. Pretending is nice in these situations. Makes some kind of fake safety.

I really wish the alarm would stop. I feel like someone is out beside the car.

Maybe I should just go to sleep and let it all out. Escape from all the bad things.

Sail away

And then I made myself sick..

I woke up this morning feeling like shit. Then I went outside and the cold to my skin filled me with a desire to accomplish something today. I was NOT to go back to sleep as I had otherwise planned. Instead I was to DO something. Try get a job.
Then something went wrong. I sickened myself and suddenly I found myself crouching on the couch with extreme abdominal pains. Nausea began and in the span of less than a quarter I went from a state of positiveness to hit rock bottom.
Then I slept. I slept for a while surrounding my dog. Honestly I don't know how long I had been under since my only thing indicating something was the number on the countdown at MTV.

Bottom line: I feel like shit and I know I induced it on myself.

Did you know..?

.. That I can't handle shots? Well, now you do.
This weekend turned out to be one of the most alcoholic ones for me in months! The last time I drank this much several days in a row was when I went to Berlin with my friend in August. Wow. And apparently I need to rebuild my drinking-stamina. Or I could just keep being the weak-drinker I was meant to be. Maybe.

Friday was J-day. The one day of the year on which the Christmas beer comes to the bars. Of course I had to go out on such a nice Friday evening with a couple of friends and a festive mood. Never mind the fact I was to work at 6 in the morning the next day. Work is NEVER a good excuse to turn down a night out with your friends. Remember it!
Oh what a nice evening it was! Free Christmas beer and a sparkling pin too! What more could you ask for?? I sincerely couldn't come up with something during all the dancing. Dancing. Hah. I like how that word makes everyone think of something cool and nice, but when I talk about me dancing I'm seriously not thinking of the likes. Nope, I think the ugliest dance ever imaginable! Take one look and you would think I was crazy to perform such an act in public. Social suicide if you'd like.
Which is why I can't crack this one. During dancing with my friends someone came up to me and said she was asking on her friend's behalf, how old I was. Was this a troll? Did she mean to ask me how old I was because I was a. dancing like a dork or b. dressing like a deranged Dane? Or was it other reasons that made this girl ask her friend if she could ask me how old I was. I'll probably never know.

My friends thought I should have said 42.

Family Ties

Recently it occurred to me that I know nothing about my family. I was oblivious and living in a safe and secure fantasy where everything was all right. But as it turns out my family is fatally flawed and severely broken.

Apparently my cousin is not getting what is rightfully hers, instead her mother spends the money on racing bikes and stuff for herself. Now I understand the reason my grandmother gave her winter boots last year...
My oldest cousin who is not related to me by blood was in some financial problem it turns out. Who did he go to? My grandmother who is not even his biological family! His own mother knew nothing about the problems he had.
And still is unaware.

I guess the first heads up on my family being odd would be the way I learned I had a female cousin. Some day I was with my grandmother at work at the café when suddenly I was introduced to this girl. My cousin.
I was 8.
Not once before had I heard of her existence.




Today was my last day cleaning the restaurant. I nothing not having to go back there again. Very indeed indifferent.
I reek of their stinking dough...

Yaydayfray

Know the feeling of having a great day until someone or something ruins it entirely? I bet you do. Today I had the honor of experiencing it once again.
I was having such a nice day. Exercise, sun, birds singing everything idyllic and very peaceful. Until... Two in the afternoon...... From the it all went downhill.
How is one supposed to just go on like nothing has happened, when suddenly you find out that the question, the crushing and hurting question you just answered, is about to turn out to be wrong.. At least to the authoring person.
"Do you have or have you had a mental disease?" My answer was no, but apparently the doctor thought otherwise.

I have NEVER in my life considered my behavior as part of a mental disease. Now that this doctor throws it at me like this I get sad and kind of furious. Who is he to tell me whether I was mentally disturbed or not?? The guy doesn't even know me pff..


I guess I just have to settle with him signing the papers...

That damn Driver's License

So basically I work, attend these theory lessons for a Driver's License and drive around in a Mercedes with my teacher. Life is pretty sweet, eh? Well at least I have an income now.
I am getting tired of trying to achieve this license. I never wanted it to begin with. First it was okay since it was new and interesting, but now that I have spent some weeks on it it quite frankly is getting boring. Lessons are boring, driving is boring and I just want to quit. The tests are getting worse and worse in the beginning I was able to pass if it had been a real one, but now not so much....
Oh well..

Anyway I was driving with this journalist last Tuesday. That was quite funny. It was something new and having a backseat passenger made me try to do even better than usual. I took part in her interview and as a thank you she wanted to give me a book called "Woman know your car". I do not know what to expect of the book anyway.

Winter girl

Once upon a time there was a girl. This girl seemed happy.
It was winter and the girl was happy. She lived her life quietly and that was just the way she liked it. She had control of her life and everything seemed to go just the way she wanted it.

She was a winter girl.

In the winter she was happy. She was everything and nothing and that was exactly the point of it all.

But then winter ended. She became miserable and lost everything she had fought so hard to achieve. Now she is grieving and wondering where everything went wrong. How things could turn around and become like this. How all the dreams now lie shattered on the floor.

There is only one hope for this girl - that winter this year will bring back the winter girl in her. That winter will in fact save her miserable little life and bring her back to her happy state of mind.


Pray for the girl.

Gossipy girls

Caught between two friends' fight. One says one thing the other another. Really no clue what to think is the truth - probably a great old cocktail of everything and the things left unsaid.

It saddens me that these two great friends of mine have gotten into such a mess with each other. Their relationship literary has hit rock bottom. A sad way to part with yelling, name-dropping and furniture vanishing from the apartment when the other is out.


C visited me last night. It has been such a long time since I last saw her. Mostly because of that cold war she and M has going on. It was nice seeing her though. We spent the evening watching Gossip Girls on TV, talking about stuff and of course gossip about this and that.
Seeing her again made me realize how awkward our relationship always has been. I pretty much do not care about it, but people watching would probably consider it shaky ground. I like C and I really hope she and M will make it work between them. At least having the two of them sitting in the same room without killing each other would be nice.

I hate to choose between friends...

Tale of the sleep deprived

Waking up at half past three in the morning is no fun.
Riding a bicycle for an hour at four in the morning is no fun.
Getting to work at five in the morning is somewhat no fun.
Getting home at half past nine in the morning is nice.
Going to sleep at a quarter past ten is fantastic!
Waking up at eleven is exhausting.
Working at twelve is somewhat nice.
Driver's license theory at four in the afternoon is quite funny.
Getting home at half past six in the evening is very fulfilling.



I kind of have to days in a day. No matter what I do I end up having to sleep either in the morning or in the afternoon in order not to fall asleep during work.

I am not sure if I can keep up with this. It is so extremely hard for me to get up this early when I have these other jobs which make me go to sleep at eleven in the evening at the earliest. Damn.



Saturday I experienced being alone in the café. Only my boss and I were at work and while he worked hard in the kitchen I had to take care of everything in the café. Which quite frankly made me feel very badly. I had only had two shifts before that so I honestly did not think of me as fit for it. At. All.
I have learned a lot in the café. I think I finally became friends with the streamer. Now I only need to befriend the cash register. We are still on shaky ground the two of us :)


Every time I go out for groceries for the café I walk by Guldsmedegade and in on of the apartments the residents have made a huge 32 bit pacman and ghost on their window out of post-its. I might take a picture of it sometime since it is SO AWESOME!

Smoking

Life as we know it

Yesterday was work. I liked it.
Clean at 6 in the morning, café at 9 in the morning and computer work at the hospital at 4 in the afternoon. What a day!
Oh and a lovely thing? E had dinner ready when I got home mhmm. The bestest of the best is what she is!

After re watching Twilight for the 117th time it occurred to me. "Hey, that Carlisle dude looks so much like our new boss at the café!!! OMGZ E! do you see it??" And she did. So I am not just being crazy :) Well at least not alone in my craziness then.

I look forward to tomorrow. Seriously that day is going to be interesting! I hope someone would like to watch the whole thing on the TV with me, but we will see. Most people already have plans for the night :/ 

All by myself

Today I worked for the first time in Café Kaffegal. Suddenly all the other café workers were off work and at the exact moment the last one went away and left me alone in the bar the stereo started playing "all by myself".

This I will never ever think was a coincidence. Just a little too fitting!
And I smiled. A big foolish grin on my face! Such a nice day today turned out to be :)

ADD

Oh and the best thing about my work? I choose when to work! = Everday!
Aand I do not think they would mind me dyeing my hair crazy colors :D Which was really my biggest worry about getting a job.
Crazy person gotta craze, right? ;)

Work is good

I have begun working! Finally I got a job! Yay to that! Aaand all it requires is me sitting at a computer hitting "tab" and checking if everything is like it should be. Checking questionnaires is quite funny. Who cares if it is one of those jobs they give to people since they do not want it themselves? It is a job and it an everyday for me!

Money in the pocket

Today I was scheduled for a meeting (once again) with a Café, but yet again they canceled due to sickness. Damnit! Ele and I are NEVER going to get that meeting grr..
But hell. Now we just go to hear this politic debate in the women's house instead. Sure am looking forward to see what that will be about!



My OS likes Pokémon I bet!

Never mind RainbowDash.
But.. seriously? She makes your desktop 20% cooler!

Good times

I got a job today. From now on I am no unemployed no more! I have a job and a reason to wake up in the morning! Who cares if the thing I have to do is boring?? At least I do not just sit around at home writing applications to different job agencies.
Oh and I think my friend and I are going to get that volunteer job at the café in Århus! Pretty amazing!
I am back in business once again! OH YEAH!

Moving out

September 7th. I long for this date.

Choose your fights

Fighting. Sometimes I wonder if there are ever any good reasons to fight. If you think about it there probably are none.
My dog picked up a fight this morning. Apparently he had run off to the crazy dog who is yapping at everything outside its yard. I dislike that dog. And for some odd reason my dog has been EXTREMELY mad at it too. Well, to be fair my dog is mean and evil towards almost any dog, but rarely have I seen him so wild and furious as I see him, when we encounter this particular dog. He gets that look in his eyes.

And well yeah as I thought he would like to hurt it. Badly if he got the chance. Now I do not know if he got a hold of the other dog since I was not the one walking him, but I know for sure that he has the mark of a canine tooth on his chin.

In a strange room

I woke up the middle of the night last night and my first thought was, "WHERE THE HELL AM I!? This is not where I was supposed to be". It took me several minutes to figure out I was in my own living room and in fact in the exact same place I was when I fell asleep.
Strange how your mind can deceive you like that. Maybe I have been gone for so long I think I do not belong here anymore. Maybe.

And gone I have been. To Skanderborg and Berlin. Both were so great and so not sober! For the last two weeks I have been drinking on an almost daily basis with a few dry days in between.
I met a lot of new people whom I really enjoyed the company of. Nice and sweet human beings from all over the world. Ironic I did not really get any German friends. But Japanese, Turkish, Italian, Chilean and whatnot. The ways of the world is very peculiar.


So now that I am back I feel a little empty. I still have no job (well only 3 hours twice a week, a start, but nothing really) I desperately need one. For the money and for my own sanity.
Oh and in three weeks I have to vote for the first time in my life. I have a love/hate relationship with these things. I like the idea of me having a vote and something to say, but I REALLY hate the way the election campaigns are run. All this unnecessary mud-throwing and children's acts. Gee.
But oh well. Since I have no job I have plenty of time getting it just right who I want to vote for.

Heading off!

Leaving in a jet plane (caar in fact)
Don't know when I'll be back again (but I kinda do)
dam dam

I cannot remember the text for that song. Like it a lot though.

Anyhow! I am leaving for festival #2 this year. SKANDERBORG. I am going to work in some food booth who knows how that will turn out. I think it will be fine though!
And tomorrow I shall see Pendulum for the second time in my life! I LOVE that band (it is a band, right?) love love.

Hope the rain will pass.

Hell if it hurts

Lately I have been thinking. I am not happy.

Then I decided to come up with an idea of why that could be. Weight was the first thing that popped up.

When I weighed less I felt happier. Now that I weigh more I am sad more often.

Ergo: My happiness is controlled by my weight.

This fact makes me even sadder than the weight itself I guess.

I have trouble getting up in the morning. I literally do not have anything to get up for. I do not go to school, I do not have a job, I do not have any plans for my future and everything seems pointless. I might as well just lie in my bed and hope to die. Wish I could just get myself together and end it, but that is me in a nutshell: I cannot, because I want to know how it ends!

I need something to take my mind off of things. Something that could give my life some meaning. Something that would make this seem more than just surviving like a virus without no real destination, but only the destroying and decaying factor set straight.

I have faced it: I am just a mere human, put in the world to fulfill the one task mankind seems to have: Overpopulate the world and DESTROY ALL LIVING THINGS (ourselves included).

Bonfire night August

Tonight I feel like burning stuff! And what better way to do that than accompanied by friends? No, right? SO I decided I had an extreme amount of blue and green soda that somebody had to drink. And since I do not drink soda (and the stuff was bought for friends in the first place) I decided to have people come over and drink fancy colored drinks and starting a bonfire with me! :D NICE.

I spent my Saturday evening walking and talking with an old friend. It was quite nice to speak again. Without any weird feelings (at least I did not have any, who knows if she had?)

Deadmau5

I may be somewhere in the back to the left. Maybe.. SO FREAKIN AWESOME!!!!!!

Cry

Tinkerbell

Apparently there was some children event in the town I live in. I went grocery shopping when suddenly I realized the main street was blocked. I found it odd, but curiosity rose within me. I had to know what the commotion was all about :P

Flee markets! Booths with food and drinks events and music was what I found. I strolled down some rows looking at all their stuff when my eyes fell upon a plush chihuahua! It cost less than 1 dollar so I had to buy him! (The picture is of him. Is he not adorable??? Cuter than a real chihuahua)

Platinum

I went to the hairdresser today. Spent 1600 kr. (roughly 303 dollars) in four hours! Never ever have I spent so much money on my hair at one time! BUT I love what has been done to my hair! It is amazing how my oh so dark hair is now platinum blonde! No more "french fries blonde", but purely blonde! Amazing!

Funny how my hair projects always attract a lot of attention from all the hairdressers in the salon. "What thick hair you have!" is ever the first comment on their lips, even now when I have actually shed a lot of hair. What puzzles me is that they said my hair was not completely damaged. My hair is apparently strong and fights against all the fucked up things I put it through. Thank you hair!

Today they released the grades in written English, Danish and music. I did extremely well in the first two, music not so well. Maybe I should feel a little down about the music grade, but I just do not care about it since I got the highest grades in Danish and English so what matters a failed grade in music??

M and I made frushi. SO RECOMMENDABLE!!!

Blood

Blood, blood, gallons of the stuff. Give them all that they can drink and it will never be enough...

My fingers have been bleeding all day. Started in the morning. Cut my thumb while cutting a grape. Hurt like hell, but at least I was not wakened enough to feel all the pain. I really should stop using those big sharp knives in the morning...

Then my ring finger started bleeding due to the biting I did. Then the pinkie and then at last the pointing finger. Way to go girl! Now the only one missing is my index finger. That should come in the night when my exam stresses me too much and I need something to keep myself busy with. Damn you me.

Did vikings like blood?

The Contest

I just wanted to mention this contest that I participate in :D I shall throw a link to my entry, but seriously check out the other entries! They are quite amazing! I do not think I will win this, but to shine some light upon the contest seems like a good idea. I have always been against buying votes so that is NOT what this is about. Take a look at the entries ;)
Link to the contest :D

Life of Pi

I am grateful. Grateful that I chose to pick up this book. Never in my wildest imagination would I have imagined I would find this book as interesting as I seem to do. I am so breath taken by the events in the book and simply amazed by the way Yann Mantel succeeds in telling another man's story so well, so detailed, so very interesting and capturing. I love it.

As to whether I shall believe in God after reading this story I am still not convinced and have my doubts. Sure I like Pi's take on religion and his way of going about it. But I seriously doubt I shall start believing. Even so it is surely an amazing story. I wonder if it is based on true events?

Run and clean!

I woke up feeling all, "Oh noes, why did I tell myself to run that far today???" I was very close to canceling, but then I got my shit together and pulled on the running gear!

10 km was my goal.

During the run I kept thinking I might not be able to run 10 km after all since I was getting tired after what I thought was 3 km. Now I know better and that I am extremely bad at estimating distance. 3 was actually 5 km and the run I thought could at a max have been 9 km was in fact 11 km. Way me, on distance guessing!

So obviously I am very happy with my running performance!

The house is clean now! Is it just me or is one a little bit more aware of people making a mess when one is the one who has cleaned?? I could not help thinking ¤/#%¤& when I found little sock fluff on the floor right after I cleaned the fucking floor!! I know it is nothing but argh! And I had to go to the bathroom, but I thought about not going since I had just cleaned it and that it would be so sad to ruin the cleanliness. I think I need serious help :P

Running

So I entered this race thing today. And I am quite proud of myself! I finished the 4 km in 21 minutes which I find to be pretty good. That's roughly 5 minutes pr. km making my speed at an average of 11 kph. Next time I will do it even faster! (or maybe set out on 8 km who knows?)

I was about 15 seconds faster than the boxing boy I know who also participated. He stopped because of his shoelaces which gave me the lead, but hey a lead is a lead, right? :)

Tomorrow I plan on trying to run the 10 km again. It has been some time since I ran that far, but I have a feeling I might make it tomorrow! Willpower is the way to achieve good results! Then the house needs to be cleaned. From top to bottom. Every spot of dust (spot of bother?) has to be cleaned! Then I and the parents are going to be just about satisfied :)

Free hugs

Every time I see people with these signs I wonder, "Free hugs. Are these people used to pay people to hug them or what!? Because I always get and give hugs for free." Is it just me or are those signs quite stupid in that way??

Oh, and this is the deviation which is the picture

God am I dreaming

Never have I felt so badly between the exam and the voting. NEVER..... I..just..felt...like.....

But it turned out well anyway!? I have no idea how. I seriously thought they might have thought I was a retard who knew nothing about the things spoke of. Funny feeling though.

When I got the question I was blank. God is big. Islam and Christianity. I felt. Fucked.

I recall saying that exact word a couple of times during the preparation time. Only once have I said that word during such a time. Last year when I was getting ready for media class.

Thunder is in the air. You can smell it. The pressure at its highest, black clouds in the air and the humidity reaching high levels.

Is this a sign that a storm is coming? Who knows. Maybe one should go to sleep and dream. Dream of things which will turn out to be nightmares. At least they did last night.

The dream about exams and then suddenly being in a place where none is a familiar face. Room suddenly emptying. I follow some stranger. We get to the same point twice and two times I am not fast enough. The person tells me so and suddenly a dude in black hoodie shoots something at me. Syringe-shaped vivid colored. I am down. Blackout.

Completely alone at a strange and unfamiliar place. Walking. Then he shows up and starts aiming at me. I run. Every time I look back he is there pointing, aiming, trying to shoot me down.

Summer warmth

Temptation. It is funny how in Denmark when the weather starts getting really good everyone is found on their front porch under their parasols sipping ice cold beverages. I noticed this behavior in several gardens yesterday and it made me think. I think it is a wonderful thing and everybody had somebody over and they were talking and just having a good time. I love summer.

When I got home I decided that I needed to do the exact same thing! But I had none to do it together with, but I cared not for this. Parasol up, long drink made, legs crossed on the table and relaaax.

Summertime is wonderful!

Studying hard

Never in my life have I studied this hard! It is extreme!

Ancient studies are not the easiest of subjects, but I shall try to overcome! The picture above is Platon's cave allegory. A quite interesting allegory in fact! Makes you think about the relativity of everything you seem as reality! I guess his message came through, such a genius he was! Even though I do not like his "ideal state" one bit! Ugh. Way too static and just a great no go.

Oops.....

So here I am. I do not have much time anymore which I can honestly only thank myself for. Damn it. Today I realized just how much of an idiot I have been as I had not studied at all for the next exam. Which is in two days. And is. So. Freaking. Argh!

Oh, well, oops....

Taylor. Hmm I kinda see why the critics think she might have a death wish. But then again come on. Why do people always interpret the fuck out of everything? They lay too much in it in my humble opinion.

I just look forward to seeing her act on stage in July!

The urge

So I had the urge to blog. But I was unable to log on... SO I cooked instead! :D Seriously, yesterday I cooked for at least 10 people! It was wild! But I cooked for nobody.. Which means most of the food was thrown straight into the freezer (which is quite a good thing when I'm too lazy to make dinner, but want something different than salad)

Here is a list of what I made:

Spinach bread (actually quite yummy)

Tofu sausages (have not tried those yet)

Vegetable salsa

Berry sorbet (smells nicely)

Berry and nuts ice cream

Now I just wish my friends are not too busy studying this evening. Then they come over and help me make some of it disappear :D

Oh, and if you miss a bitch here is one for you! :)

Tidying up

I sure as hell have achieved something today! Ooh yeah! I tidied up my room! Not that it was that messy to start with, but oh my God, I had NO order in the closet! A complete war zone! Geez! But now everything is under control and peace has returned to the kingdom of Penguin!

In fact it was a little make over. I rearranged my desk and amplifier so now it is all very neat! I dare to show the insides of my closet and the floor is wide and the entire room feels open and welcoming! Love it.

My dog was not the biggest help though. He kept standing in the way (probably wanted me to shift my attention to him instead of the mess) But now he seems very satisfied with the two of us curling beside each other in the sofa. Such a lap dog!

I was supposed to study music. I did not want to and therefore I have not begun yet. Stupid, maybe, but what the hell. I still have the evening and tomorrow and in addition I am still in a need of relaxing after yesterday's exam. Which went unbelievably well! I could not believe my ears when they told me! I am such a lucky one. This AT exam counts double on the certificate so that was quite nice :) Banksy you are my savior!

Cucumber takes on every taste

Have you ever thought about cucumber ALWAYS tasting like the thing it has touched? Say you touch it with you hands, BAM, it tastes like fingers! It touches something on your plate - BAM cucumber with potato flavor! Or the worst one! Cucumber tasting like sausage! Even when it has never even been in touch with that kind of "food" :s I seriously hate when it tastes like that. Then I cannot eat it either. Simply cannot bring myself to it.

Speaking of not eating something. I CANNOT eat things which have touched meat. No. No. Yesterday My father accidentally took a slice of my veggie pizza since he thought there was no difference in the three pizzas on the counter. Nor my mother, brother or I could figure out how he could not see the significant difference between them! But anyhow. He did not want to eat it obviously and offered it to me. BUT it had touched(!) his pizza with meat on it! Even though it was only a small part of it and briefly I was not able to take it. I guess my family finds me even more freakish now than ever.... Damn freak outs...

At the moment I am buried in exam method-thing crap. What is the point of this stupid general study preparation anyway?? Nobody (not even the teachers) can give me a clear answer to this question! How the fuck am I going to figure out what is good and what is bad? Grr..

At least I am going to see M and A tomorrow evening. Relief.

1 down - 7 to go

The exam period has officially started! Starting today with written Danish which is now OVER! No more Danish assignments for this girl I tell you! I like it that way. Hopefully I did well.

I might be getting a new camera soon. I do not really know which one to get yet, but my father wants to buy the one I have. In fact people in general want to buy my stuff at the moment. A friend of my parents' wants to buy my bicycle and that was quite odd. The thing is I do not know how much I can charge either of them. The things are used and the bicycle is not in the best condition - not that it is rubbish either! It is just. I do not know. I think I would have never suggested it myself that anyone bought it from me.

A part of me just wants to give it away. Money are the work of the Devil.

Relieved!

So today the exams were drawn. NO ORAL MUSIC FOR ME!!!! I was so happy (and still am) that I could not get that foolish smile off my face for several minutes after reading the beautiful message about my exams! So happy, so relieved that I wanted to scream with joy!

Wow.. I just received a call from a classmate. Apparently he is in some kind of trouble with getting his printer to school tomorrow. I wish I could have helped, but since I am taking the bus I cannot really do much :/ I hate that. Hope he figures it out! Best of luck!

I should go to sleep now in order to make a wonderful essay tomorrow. Danish essays are not my best work of art, but I shall try my best!

I just made cute little flag buns! I like them. They are for my friend. She turned 20 today! (half-forty haha) We decided to to surprise her with breakfast and cake in the morning because her parents were not home to do it :) She seemed to like it ^^

Tomorrow we shall celebrate her even more! And therefore I made these cute things (7 of them, one for each person attending the craziness!)

I wish I had had better lightning or gotten the idea of fetching a lamp a little earlier, since as I am writing this the buns are all stacked up and I seriously do not intend to mess with them any more!

Which reminds me I have tons of things to do. Like wrapping up her present! Oh well, I shall just do that in the morning. No stress!

Stress. Funny word. I think I shall get a lot of that kind in the near future. Tomorrow I hear about the rest of this year's exams and then I know whether I should just go kill myself or not :) I know all the exams for May (I think) and then there are just 4 more to be announced tomorrow.

Good luck to every student out there who gets their exams displayed tomorrow!

Oxegen

AND NOW THE FLIGHT TICKETS ARE IN DA HOUSE TOO!!!! I CANNOT WAIT!?!?!?

54 day to go!

Bitches and co-hosts

http://bitchmagazine.org/

What is to say other than hey I found a website with bitch in its name! (Yes, I have just proved my google skills to be at least at the lowest level!) I do not know what to say you could kinda just take a look yourself since there is so much to explore on the freakin website. It is about feminism so that is cool and has a lot to do with bitches since many people consider feminists to be bitches. I do not know where they find a relation between the two *cough*

Tonight is the night. That bonfire thing. It is in two hours from now and I still have not heard a word about what the fuck I should bring. Now you might be thinking, "Well, why doesn't the stupid bitch just text the host and freakin ask???" And this is where I shall reply, "I do not wish to be the one coming to them as it ALWAYS is. Something has to change and I do not want to be the one in charge of everything right now. It is their turn!" Stupid, but I have to stand up for my beliefs. Even though I may come out as the total bitch that I am. Too bad if they cannot handle the monster inside!

No bitches just bithin'

I cannot think of any bitch to write about today. SO I will be bitching instead! Seriously my day just spiraled downward in events of crapyness!

1. I wont be getting a "blue book". Not with the course it is taking right now. But I intend to fight.

2. Internal bitching within the group about our only group exam - great, just what we needed.

3. I have no clue about WHAT THE HELL is going to happen tomorrow evening.

Fuck you bitches who did not make sure I got a "blue book". I hate you! It is your fault that I have to go through all this trouble to get it. I am furious and lack words! M and M are in the same boat as I and we sure hate it. I could kick/punch/tear something apart.

And all that negative energy just before we got out of school. Like we really need that... It seems we always have to play the bitches and they the victims. Fucking role playing wont help you! You are still just as much of a bitch as I am!

Fuck! FUCK! I have a very small vocabulary when angry (obviously). I think I shall skip most classes tomorrow. I do not feel like attending any other than the history class where jeopardy and fun is going to reign!

Bitch likes zumba

Notice how page 4 is missing? I wonder where that is. I am eager to know what the last types of bitches are...

So this is what I want to say about bitches today! There are apparently 98 different types of them if you trust this piece of paper. Unfortunately some are missing, but I guess one could always find some to fill in :D

I feel absolutely AMAZING! I have been working out quite a lot today! Cycling to school and back again and then went to zumba for two hours. I kinda like that zumba shit. It might be mainstream, but who the hell cares?? I like it. Period!

I had the most amazing morning! Woke up and decided to sleep some more and then just go to school when I felt like it. When I woke I walked the dog in the beautiful and life confirming sunshine! Good times! Then I went to school where nothing really happened and finally I rushed home (made the trip from school to home in only 36 minutes!!) and then it was time for ZUMBA! What really is funny though is that even though I have used sooo much energy today I am FILLED with energy still! I want to run, jump, roll and be FREE!

Take your time and relax!

Bitches!

I have thought quite a deal on the name of this blog. Bitch. I like bitches they make my everyday so exciting. I am one of them myself too. I do not think anyone would say differently about that.

So. I have decided to dedicate the next few posts to bitches. Bitches of all kinds known and unknown. I think this will give a little spice to the things I write about.

Day 1

Kvik the bitch.

Kvik is the name of a dog who is owned by some friends of my parents'. She is about 14 years old and deaf. It was on a very unfortunate Friday evening that she was run over by a car driven by one of her owners. The amazing thing? She survived the whole fucking incident! I was relieved and extremely surprised, but then again, this is the bitch who slayed a marten with his son (of a bitch!) and quite frequently kills a lot of smaller animals which she digs up.

This is one hard core bitch so to say! I like her a lot and I kinda think she has a sore spot for me too. At least she likes me when I give her treats. And take her out digging in their backyard.

Ironi

How ironic it is indeed to have a paper due this afternoon on busyness. I could in fact base the whole thing on the situation I am in right now. That sure is a funny feeling.

It just does not quite make it any easier that I have this family dinner thing at one o'clock so the paper pretty much needs to be done by then, shit.

Then there's the oral presentation tomorrow in biology. Dam dam dam damn! I hate those last minute makings which I am so damn good at ending up with! But at least I had fun yesterday!

M and A were here and guess what? We made a bonfire! (surprise) It sure is fun to be around those guys. On Thursday A and I are going to C's for a bonfire evening which none of us are really looking that much forward to. I mean sure it will be fun, no doubt! But I seriously just hope there wont be much Korean talk (yeah like that is going happen! Dream on honey....) At least there will be a surprise for all of them! That I have made sure of :)

Oh

Oh and today I had raccoon tails in my hair.

A birthday tale and the ugliest day of the year

L is throwing a birthday party tomorrow. I am not invited. And the best part? I do not care one bit.

Fairytale with a happy ending!

Today was "Ugly Day" at school. In the old days this meant not thinking even the slightest about what you would wear on this particular day and just be "ugly". Today however it has developed into the day of the year where people think the most about what they wear and plan it weeks ahead to get the best "ugly" outfit. I enjoy this day with every breath I take! From all the colors and odd costumes to the smell of the boys' lavatory (you see we switch toilets this day just to fuck up everything a bit more.) On Monday I will look forward to see what graffiti the boys have written on our toilets this year :D They always make something stupid, but then again that is exactly what all the other notes of graffiti on the walls are.

I love to read them. One day I found out that we have a Harry Potter themed toilet! It is brilliant! On the sink there is a tiny snake so if you happen to know parceltongue and come by our toilet you should feel free to enter the chamber of secrets through it :) I have not tried it yet, but I intend to before I leave the school. Which will be scarily soon :s

Bicycle

Insanity

I just finished reading The Yellow Wallpaper. It spoke to me.

I like how I got so connected to the protagonist. It felt awful to realize she was just getting worse and developing a more severe state of her mental illness. Women sure did not have it easy back around 1880.

On the brighter note I feel like I can get a good night's sleep tonight. Having relaxed all day must have some benefits, right?

Speaking of relaxing scares me when I think about it. Relaxing and doing nothing was the thing that triggered the protagonist into getting worse. I really have to find out what to do when I graduate. Otherwise I fear I am just going to end up at some psych ward.

Upskirt

I like the idea of upskirt photography. It touches my curiosity and I want to know more about it. But I really do not need to see a naked vagina. No in fact I like the ones with underwear better. They seem more, I do not know, real? There is just something more to it than the ones with a bare pussy gap. Well well everybody has their pleasures.

I find it funny that I have never thought about the possibility of this kind of photography to actually exist. Now that I know I feel silly, because it seems weird not to have thought about it.

All the things you never think about. It makes my dizzy to think about the things I have never thought about and all the things I shall never think about and the things I am yet to think about.

Thinking makes one dizzy.

Control

It takes one hell of a woman to perform this act and still look like she has the world in her hand.

You got me

Here comes the sun

Existentialism is an extremely interesting thing to discuss. I really enjoyed religion class today. We talked about Sartre and his view on the human nature. I kind of like his points and then again I do not. I liked the cases we had to discuss. I got really into it when the question was about a polar bear's responsibility and whether or not it had to face punishment for killing people. I think no. Even if it had a choice between a seal and a human, cause really, who is to judge which is worse? People only think it is worse killing the human since we are human and we make the moral.

I liked it.

But at least they had fun

1st May

I had the most sucky 1st May in my entire life. Seriously nothing happened! Maybe it was because of Sunday maybe it was the crowd and maybe it was just me and my mood. I was not in the mood for drinking beer = what is there really to do then??

A did not show since she had to be at some confirmation shit which she really did not want to. She stayed at my house this night after an awesome evening of bonfire and bingo (haha I know!)

Seriously it was the most amazing way to spend a Saturday! I went shopping for plants with my ma and bro, did some gardening work in the garden and then in the evening I had M and A over to make some fun!! And fun we sure as hell had! Damn I love those girls. Making a bonfire and baking pancakes over open fire in the middle of the night is extremely funny! You should try it!

So Yesterday was a blast and along came today. Which sucked. BIG time. C and I were so horribly annoying at times, but hey, I would have been concerned if they were not. And then I guess they thought I was so lame for going home early, but really, why would I not? All we did was sitting there not doing a THING and them singing bad Korean pop hits. So I went home.

At least I caught a rubber duck. That made my day!

See you later lovely little crowd :)

xoxo

Odd

Ever noticed how odd life can be?

I do not know why I post this. I have no idea. Maybe I am just bored?

I did not do any of my homework today. Damn.

I am now on the 7th month of missing my period. Odd.

A new start

I have been rather inactive lately. I have no real explanation of this.

The strangest dreams have been in my head when I slept. I keep dreaming about things and then wake up and believe they were all so very true and did happen. But they did not. Which is mostly a very good thing. I have dreamt that I said something that made C so mad at me she never wanted to talk to me again. The thing is she said something very hurtful in the dream and that after thinking about the dream I think it would actually end like that if it happened in real life.

Then I have dreamt a lot about school and my future. Those dreams have been quite cool. I got a job and I had to do some weird things for school which I for one did not mind at all even though they were due to a time not long from the present.

I went to Hamburg. It was nice and the vacation made me miss a lot of things and want to do something about the way that I live. I have to get myself together which I finally realized last week. I am up for it! I know I can do it! I have done it before so really what should stop me? Other than myself of course :)

But I believe in myself and I really think the person I am can do it!

The person which I am. Funny thinking since at the moment I do not recognize the person starring back at me in the mirror. I think she is hideous, but I do not tell anybody out of fear they will agree with me.

Living in nightmare-mode

I feel like I am not living at the moment. Nothing seems real anymore neither seems anything to matter. Everything is an illusion and nothing is what it seems.

Hate and love love and hate. Hate to love love to hate. Numb.

Tomorrow something weird will happen to my hair. I will dye it. And it is possible that it is going to die from it. But I do not really care. I dye it. I hope to get some kind of blonde color out of it. But with my luck it will probably turn out orange making me a carrot. Well that will be kind of funny! I look forward to dying it with my friends. During our Star Wars Night 2.0!

May the force be with you!

xoxo

Home for the weekend

My dog is home for the weekend!! I really hope he can stay by the end of it. Though I must admit it is quite painful to have him home. Yesterday he spent the entire afternoon, evening and night restless in the living room not wanting to lie down. I wish he could just relax. Today it seems he is feeling better, not howling as much etc. Please get better boy :)

A is in Hamburg with C and I. Although it is expensive she has already texted me a lot. I feel her agony. They seem to get on her nerves more and more for every minute that flies by. I just hope they have finally left and gone to the concert venue! Otherwise they are just bastards who think of none but themselves! A though goes out to you A!

I think I do not value my life as much I used to anymore. My first argument on this theory would be that I suddenly found myself on the backseat of L's car. It is weird I have not spoken a decent word with L in months, but yesterday's events were odd. My group from class had decided on running sushi which I decided to join them in although I had not been to school. L was with them for some reason. At first I was a little skeptical about it, but then I thought she should not be a reason for me to not have fun with my friends!

After the sushi she offered us all to drive us wherever we wanted to go. Strangely I accepted the offer. SHE SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN GRANTED THAT DRIVER'S LICENSE!

During the drive I kept the thought in mind that if I died it would not be that bad. We did not die (obviously) but she took a red light once and the car kept turning off.

She has had the license for little over two weeks and has already injured her car twice. Twice. TWICE!!!!?!??!!?

Go A! This goes out to you, xoxo

So stupid!

I cannot believe I never thought of that! Now that I realize it it seems so silly! When I have been blogging about my friends I never wanted to spell out their names, BUT why the hell did I not just do as they do in Gossip Girl? Yeah, you got it! Their front letters!

I feel so stupid since it has just occurred to me right now, months after I first had the dilemma about whether or not to put their names on display. M would laugh her ass off due to my stupidity :)

Only thing: Many of them start with the same letter. Well you will just have to figure that out yourselves :D

Xoxo

I feel miserable

I just want to hide underneath my pillows. Take cover and hide!

I feel like crying my eyes out

But I will be strong!

One of us has to anyway

Please please please

Just give him back to my right away!!

My dog is at the hospital. He has been in serious pain the past few days and last night it peaked. He screamed all night and could not sleep. This morning we drove him to the vet for the second time this week. They decided to keep him and do some x-rays. The results did not show any significant sign of what is causing the pain though.

Now he is still there. The little patient with the way too drugged eyesight. He looked really groggy and could barely move when I last saw him. I just hope his pain will go away and he can come home.

They want him home by the weekend, but I want him home by NOW! I miss him so much. I cannot stand not knowing what is happening to him. It hurts.

I think I end up skipping school tomorrow. Cannot concentrate anyway. I know it is a bad excuse, but I just cannot do it. Test and all that NO I wont show up. I have no motivation to study for the test so I might as well get nothing for not showing up as getting nothing for showing up and doing horribly...

xoxo

Picture passion

Under the sea.

Money. Money. Money.

My own little princess. And she is no virgin anymore! Lost it to MCR :)

Memories from Hamburg

Passion