Fear

I don't know what's the matter with me. Recent events have me fearing doctors, hospitals and psych wards more than ever. Or at least has re-awoken the fear I once had, but seemed to have gone away. I can't seem to get myself together and call the doctor to get that stupid tetanus vaccine. Stupid, crazy, stupid. I guess I'd just rather live without EVER having to go to any place which has to do with sickness in any form.
This fear is stupid. Why oh why.

I refuse to go insane! I simply refuse to start acting all weird. Not now. Not when so much is at stake.

I don't think it's a real phobia anyway. Iatrophobia is not to be kidding with and certainly not to be attached to some confused teenager. I really don't like putting all these labels on myself. Call it denial if you wish to I don't really care. As far as I know I'm not and so I'm perfectly fine.

Paranoid

As I sit here in the my living room I have gradually grown more and more paranoid as the hours have passed by. Odd noises and something that sometimes sounded like voices have kept freaking me out and keeps me on edge and very scared indeed.
Outside it's raining and raging possibly a storm brewing up, but I'm inside and relatively safe. I try to remind myself of this even thought the strange noises and the repeated car alarm going off scares the hell out of me. For the past ten minutes it has gone off at least five times.
I try to keep calm and focus on Big Bang Theory, as long as I pretend everything is fine, everything really IS fine. Pretending is nice in these situations. Makes some kind of fake safety.

I really wish the alarm would stop. I feel like someone is out beside the car.

Maybe I should just go to sleep and let it all out. Escape from all the bad things.