Hell if it hurts

Lately I have been thinking. I am not happy.

Then I decided to come up with an idea of why that could be. Weight was the first thing that popped up.

When I weighed less I felt happier. Now that I weigh more I am sad more often.

Ergo: My happiness is controlled by my weight.

This fact makes me even sadder than the weight itself I guess.

I have trouble getting up in the morning. I literally do not have anything to get up for. I do not go to school, I do not have a job, I do not have any plans for my future and everything seems pointless. I might as well just lie in my bed and hope to die. Wish I could just get myself together and end it, but that is me in a nutshell: I cannot, because I want to know how it ends!

I need something to take my mind off of things. Something that could give my life some meaning. Something that would make this seem more than just surviving like a virus without no real destination, but only the destroying and decaying factor set straight.

I have faced it: I am just a mere human, put in the world to fulfill the one task mankind seems to have: Overpopulate the world and DESTROY ALL LIVING THINGS (ourselves included).