I have no future

As I'm writing this it occurs to me that my future isn't exactly as planned as I thought. Just two months ago I thought I knew what the next three years had in wait for me, now I know that it's not that simple.
Last week I was in Odense attending the first seminar at The University of Southern Denmark. I thought this was it but as the hours went by in the city it slowly dawned on me that that wash't the case.

So now I'm a college dropout even before the first semester has begun. Sad as that may sound I'm happy. I'm so incredibly relieved you wouldn't believe it! I guess university just isn't for me.

Here's a pretty picture I took of my friend while in Wisconsin. She's adorable!

I've been thinking a lot lately which isn't as impressive as it may sound since my thoughts have been rather simple. Guys, girls, stuff, guys, girls, more stuff, guys, girls, my future. So basically I've been thinking a lot about the people who've entered my life recently. Funny thing; some people actually like me despite my cynical being. Weird I know but apparently still true. Who'd have thought people would come to like me someday? 

Oh everything's just crazy and fucked up and I'm hurting someone I like by doing stupid stuff wee. 

I'm a horrible person

Lake house

So here I am in bed in a lake house on Lake Geneva, Wisconsin. How did I get here? Well, that's kind of a long story.

It's been a while

I've been silent. Silent for so long and now I decide to speak again.

A week ago I deactivated my Facebook account and I actually feel kind of happy about it. It's fun to live life without seeing all these meaningless things people I rarely speak to post.
My friends got a bit worried at first. One by one they noticed I had disappeared from the site and asked me why. I was tired of Facebook, simple.

I walk around wishing I was still in the States. I really liked it there and want to go back so badly. But since I'm out of money I obviously can't.

I really miss it. The freedom of doing whatever I wanted at whatever time I wanted. It was grand it really was.

My newest passion

I took an elbow to the face. Obviously I had a blast today :)

Life is good

Such a nice day in Anchorage. With weather like that what else to do than put on you roller blades and head for the coastal trail?
A little slippery and cold, but nothing too difficult.
Beautiful coast! Mountains were out and a crisp air with sunshine. Sunday at its best!

Winter

Living by myself in the cabin was awesome. As a spontaneous adding to my trip I borrowed a dog to go along with me not a bad choice at all! I actually enjoyed the company of my furry four legged friend.

The scenery was splendid; river just a stone throw away from the cabin and snow covering the wilderness making everything silent and muting all noises.

I'm starting to become restless. I need to get back into town. By the end of next week I'll probably be in Anchorage.

Uncivilized lifestyle

Four days in a cabin all by myself! That's what's in store for me!

Being in the woods all by myself getting away from people surrounding me. The lumberjack-ish life of chopping up wood for the stove to get warm. Walk through wilderness to the river and fetch water for drinking and cooking and just relax with a book with nothing to interfere or interrupt!
Maybe even walk through snow in a silent winter wonderland through endless spruce forest and solid frozen rivers.

Alaska I truly love you!

Only in America

Pacifist going to a gun show today. Completely out of comfort zone and really looking forward to it. Comfort zones poison people deprive them of their curiosity and hunger for adventure. Kills them, domesticates them, drain them. Slowly!
No more, I say! No more!

Yesterday I saw a bunch of military jets taking landing on the Air Force Base. I was so excited! No reason, but so extremely excited.

I'm fucked up :)

This past week has been, erm, interesting. Too much fucked up happened to even mention it. One thing's sure though; I'm seriously considering the pros of becoming a lesbian and just forget all about the drama and complications with boys...

At least I'm out of town now so hopefully that'll make things better.

Oh and I have a new friend! Her names Jenny she's a real charmer!

Oh crap......

I think I did something very wrong Saturday night. The moment of realization. Finally realizing what I did. Oh crap.... Good thing I'm leaving soon.

Though it was a lot of fun swimming in the darkness. Now I just have to lie with the cold I caught from it. Damn...

Tickets - check!

Today I finally bought the tickets. Now I'm just counting the days and trying to see as many of my friends before I leave. I kinda still need to figure out where I'll be staying, but I guess one big decision a day should be enough. Tomorrow'll be all about dollars - and earning a little more money as well since I'll cover for another person. Neat!

I'm a little disappointed I didn't get tickets for a date earlier than I did, but on the other hand this leaves me with more time to say hi and bye to people. The downside though is that I'm completely tired of spending my days at home.

Maybe I should start packing? Figure out some prepaid cellphone solution or just do something constructive. At least watching Gossip Girl season 2 and 3 over again doesn't count as such...

 

It's kind of a funny story

I went to see a stand up comedian with my family and our neighbors last night. I seriously haven't laughed so hard in a long long time! Gosh, he was amazing! I really love this one comedian since he both knows how to tell a joke and how to use his body language to get people to laugh.

We had dinner at this really Danish restaurant which didn't even have a vegetarian dish on the menu, that Danish! But I got a specially made salad and was happy. Though I had to take in a little joking around about me not eating ANYTHING except grass and wind. Ha ha, funny....

In the bathroom they had this lamp thingy I just couldn't help, but take a picture of/with/whatever :)

So I went to Copenhagen

Friday morning at 6 I joined a truck driver and drove from Aarhus to Copenhagen. Arrived by 10.30 and since my friend was meeting me at 7 pm I had an entire day to spend in the capital city.

I don't feel lonely like I sometimes used to. I enjoy the solitude, but gosh I didn't enjoy Copenhagen too much. Too many people, you know? So I kinda kept myself to the quiet places like the botanical garden, Christiania and the lakes.

Take off is getting closer! I've almost figured it out. And I'm definitely ready to leave.

I'm going back!

I've decided to go back. I've been tossing around with a couple of options for my future and honestly going back seems like the only right thing to do at the moment. Soo that's what I'm gonna do!

I just returned from England. Reading Festival was a blast! Awesome, sassy, awesome! London was nice as well. Now that I'm back in Denmark I'm just happy to have a nice shower! Oh it was indeed called for!

Over. Here's a picture I took of a horse.

Events from a week gone by

Kent, cow and cookies.

SAD

And it's not even like there's 21 hours of darkness..
I can't stand the pressure from inside. Days pass by all the while I count the days we've been apart. I really just want to go back to Alaska. The place I love more than anything else! Maybe even more than friends, family and everything else I hold dear? Yes, I'm cynical...

I wonder how different it would be after a month of absence. Maybe huge? Maybe none at all? Who knows.. All I know is that no matter if everything's changed I would still love Alaska and just start heading north into the bush.




On a brighter note I went to Skanderborg Festival and it was.. interesting to say at least! Volunteer work like last year. I was on my own though since my friend couldn't come, but since when has that ever been an excuse to deny oneself an awesome music festival? No, exactly!
New friends and weird drunken experiences.

Birthday brother

Tomorrow is my brother's 18th birthday. I can't make it for the breakfast celebrating him and I have no gift for him since I didn't know what to buy for him. AKA I'm a lousy sister..

I enjoyed this Saturday with friends and family as we all gathered to celebrate him and drink our brains out. Quite satisfying and not the dread I'd prepared myself for. Being back from Alaska brought a great deal of attention to my person, but I think I managed it quite well considering the questions people asked. My awkward handshake with left hand since my other palm would hurt, if people squeezed my wound. Oh and then I figured my friends hadn't kept their mouths shut so eventually everybody found out about Daniel and started asking the questions which have been asked way too many times in the history of mankind. Who is he? Are you going back to see him? Will he come visit you here? Blah, blah.

I really need to go somewhere though and I might as well go back to Alaska since I liked it so fucking much there!

Lost

I haven't even been "home" for 12 hours having spent less than 5 hours here.. I can't make myself unpack. My room doesn't feel right. The atmosphere is, wrong.. I twitch all the time, a new habit I've developed and now am unable to control.

Twitch, twitch goes the little bitch.

I want to escape. This feeling is uncomfortable. I need to get away. I can't stay here - I have to leave.

Tomorrow at noon I'll be gone!

Stoned

Stoned, wasted and all that shit.. Feels good though to have something else to think about for a change! All day has been sad crying over him and longing for him, but now I'm just longing for another smoke. Yay?

Wild night.. Didn't spend any money on weed or alcohol, interesting. Three different guys hitting on me, weird..

Stampede Trail

Unfortunately these pictures aren't of the real bus at the end of the trail. They are of the replica bus they used in the movie which is now situated in front of the 49th in Healy.

I went to the trail yesterday. It was AMAZING!!! I can't describe the feeling of walking along that trail. It was just awesome. I didn't even get that far (about four hours in till I reached a swampy area just before Savage River), but I really enjoyed it anyway. I'll come back later at another time when the rivers aren't this high and strong and when I have gathered more experience with swamp and river crossings and actually have all the means to reach the bus.